This might come across as a random post, but I promise I will get to the point eventually...... You see, I spent the weekend with my family in Disneyland. It was my 7 year old brother's first time. Being able to witness firsthand the raw happiness that manifested itself in his subtle half smile and incessant chatter as he met his favorite characters and rode the rides was truly a privilege. I've honestly never seen him happier. Was it Disneyland itself? Highly likely. Was it the warm weather? Eh...potentially. Was it the fact that he had full control over what we did for four days? I'd be welling to bet the lemon raspberry cheescake waiting for me in the fridge that it was. (Yes. Lemon raspberry cheesecake is sacred. And very bet worthy) Regardless of what it was that made him happy, I distinctly remember feeling the slightest bit envious of him. To be seven again, free from the chains of the young adulthood poverty and the academic strain that bind me, would be fantastic. And...I've felt this way since I said adios to him at the airport. But then...it hit me. His life is not any easier than mine (right now you're thinking "Alright Chelsea, where in the heck are you going with this?"). I may have some aspects of my life that I struggle with and that I find inconvenient, but so does he. He has bad days. He has to find someone to sit by at lunch. He has to share is favorite legos. He has to learn how to read. He has to go to bed before everyone else. He can't have fruit rollups for dinner. His life is tough!
Kody and I both have difficulties. We both have joys. However, they are catered to our age. Remembering this is key in those moments (or hours in my case) of nostalgia. Wishing away your life with the vain hope that you'll someday return to your "glory days" or "high school years" is silly because it wasn't any easier back then. Sure, looking back makes it seem that way, but that's only because of the perception and growth that came from overcoming and moving on from the things you faced back then. The same could be said of the times that we look forward, thinking "Oh, I'll start reading about Ghandi next week to become a better person" or, my personal favorite in Provo, "I'll start working out once I'm engaged". The time is now my friends.
My hope for those that read this is that you will recognize that the best time to focus on is right now. Stress about the future and remorse for lost opportunity is inevitable, but recognizing that you can neither change the past nor control the future is crucial. So...a challenge for all of us to work on together is to a) set attainable goals that you can work on a little bit each day; b) slow down and cherish the simple things of daily life; and c) Look back to remember good and learn from the bad...and look forward with hope that you will be able to look back and remember the good and the bad that you are currently experiencing.
Forgive me for the long post, it was much longer than anticipated. And forgive my eternal rampant, I like to write, so...naturally this happens.
*stepping off my soap box*
Chelsea
